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Zoe had finally come clean.

She was using street fentanyl.  Ran out of money.  Her withdrawals had started and she didn’t know what to do.  

She had other options, but thankfully she decided to trust in us that night.  She admitted everything - all of it, and all of it happening right under our noses for months.  It’s another reminder that drug addicts are the absolute best liars in the world.  Just like the joke I heard at my very first NA Family Meeting: “An alcoholic will steal your wallet, and deny it; a drug addict will steal your wallet, deny it, and then try to help you find it.”

Zoe’s Dad, our brother, died from fentanyl use just 17 days earlier.  But he left Zoe with a plan to home detox and finally get her off street fentanyl after years of using. 

The more Zoe shared with us that night, the more Lara and I realized we had just gone through this with our brother and failed.  2 years of trying to help Dennis had just crashed to a halt.  So what the hell were we going to do with Zoe?

How is one supposed to help an addict?  Should help even be offered?

What I've come to learn is, the shame and stigma attached to my brother's addiction kept our family shut down and unsure how to help.

My name is Daniel, and I'm Zoe's uncle.

                                                                             ~

Welcome to Flowers for Zoe - Stories for Dennis, a podcast that invites open and real conversation, often controversial, on the lived experience of substance use and recovery.

In the room we have Zoe, speaking about her years of heavy fentanyl use, and the steps she took to reduce risk, use safely, and how Medically Supported Detox along with rehab and safe supply has helped her quit, and begin a new life.

In the room we have Daniel, her uncle and my brother, who brings the caregiver perspective to helping and supporting loved ones who use - he invites a perspective that challenges caregivers to care differently, and to consider approaches such as harm reduction and radical compassionate support as helpful to supporting a loved ones recovery journey. 

My name is Lara and I am Zoe’s aunt and Daniel’s sister, and I happen to be a licensed clinical therapist & supervisor and I specialize in the area of mental health and substance use.  I provide a clinical perspective to this conversation.

Together, we share our family’s story, our lived experience with addiction, and we discuss it through each of these roles. 

                                                                         ~

Hi everybody, my name is Zoe.  Thanks for joining us as we talk about my recovery journey.  I want to share with you what’s behind the name of this podcast.  ‘Flowers for Zoe’ represents the dreams my dad had for me.  Each flower represents a goal on my 5 Year Plan to get my life back.

‘Stories for Dennis’ are the updates I have for my dad.  If my dad had a safe space to speak on this topic, I feel he would have had a lot to say about it.  But my dad didn’t experience safety in sharing his story.  My hope is that this podcast will help us find a better way.